Adina
Social Worker for Health Aid Romania
This interview was conducted in English, and is presented here verbatim, with only small changes for clarity.
Can you tell us about the children’s origins & their biological families?
They are… HIV+ children, abandoned by their families. I don’t have a certain number, but I think we know the families only for fifteen children. From forty three.
I really can’t say, because for most of them – at least, for those thirty for which we don’t know the parents – I know their history only from their social report. And it doesn’t say there. The child was abandoned in hospital – or in a placement centre - and never visited by his parents. So that’s all I know. I don’t know anything about the families.
For the other ones – fifteen – we know the families, but they had problems… Certainly they had money problems. But most of them [just] didn’t know what to do with a child that was infected with HIV. They were afraid. They were afraid not to infect their other children.
We intend to find their families – we obtained the parent’s addresses from the police, and we intend to look for them. To find what they want to do with their children. Even to tell them they’re alive. Most of the parents that didn’t see their children for a long time – for years – when we found them they asked me – ‘Are they alive?’ [Laughs]. Yes they are, and they are going to high school. ‘Oh!’ [laughs again].
They couldn’t believe. Because ten years ago, when they asked here at the hospital, ‘how long will my child live?’ they were told – ‘they won’t reach ten years.’ So when we say, ‘your child is seventeen’… ‘Oh, my God. He’s alive’.
On re-establishing relations between natural parents and the children
It is my aim. But it’s not [always] realistic. Of course, the best way of living for a child is with the family. But… even if we found their parents, they don’t want to take their children back. So we can’t force them. Or they are not prepared. We had a mother – the mother of a little girl from us. And she would like to take care of her baby, but she can’t. She is also HIV positive. [Shrugs] Aah, that’s not a problem – but she earns… few money, she doesn’t have a stable place to stay. So where to take the child? She comes to visit the child once a month. She’d like to visit every day, but we …she can’t see her every day. It would be too much time for us [to organise and supervise].
On problems between the children and their natural parents
[Many of the natural parents] don’t have a very good emotional state. They have problems of their own. And when they come to see the child, they try to – they talk only about their problems with the children. [Pause]. Let me think…
They hadn’t seen their children for ten years. And now when we found them and we told them their children are alive and they want to see their parents, they come and see them every week and they want to take them home - at their home, and take them for a movie and… it’s too much.
And the child is confused. Why does my father want to see me so much – then why didn’t he want to see me before? And they – they want too much – they can’t explain to the child why they abandoned him. The child has many questions – the parent can’t answer those questions. They only say – I couldn’t. I was so poor. I was so – whatever the problem was.
On her relationship to the children as a social worker & the children at school
I think – and I would like to think – we, the social workers, are like friends to them. I don’t think they feel free to speak about their sexual problems with their parents. About… if they are in love. If they like someone their age. Many times they told me, look, I told you that – don’t tell this to my mother. Finally I convinced them – I should tell – maybe not all [laughs] – I should tell something to his mother.
…They had a lot of problems in school – in one high school, it is known about their health problem. And I used to go a lot in their class and speak to their colleagues, and speak to the head master …
…They didn’t know that in school there is a bell, and that bell rings at every break to announce [sic] them that it’s break, and after ten minutes the bell rings again to announce the class… So, these are normal for us. We went to state schools from seven years. But they didn’t. They were very funny and they asked a lot of questions…
So I would like to have time to show them a lot of things.
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